i have enough space in my soul

These few days has made me feel a bit more balanced than am usually feeling.
I feel that there is more sanity in side me than before, as if I have just grown up !!!
I know for a fact that I am one of those people who learn in the hard way.
But my lessons are way much deep and intense than a lot of people. It is for a specific reason,
Still don’t know but sometimes I feel like I am going to be a person with a huge influence world wide

And actually I do not like my mood swings …..i don’t feel like am energetic and alive like before..

Is it’s because we are not together any more?

Its has been a long time …really long time that I am feeling like I am going in circles’

I was going through some of my old writings while I was in Q and guess what I found???

Since 2007 and I still have this LOST issue….still asking the same questions but in a different way…

To be honest,,,, some of these questions has been closer to be answered …yet it’s still not fully answered …

Still looking for love??

I will never be satisfied with any amount of love I have,,,no why ? I don’t have limits !!!! no limits for wanting and my NEED for this emotion ….this Taurus heart needs a life supply of HIGHLY dosage of affection….love…and SEX,, it might be an unpleasant thing to say …my partner may feel that I tend to look somewhere ells…but actually I learned that the hard way,,, GREED leads you to lose every single thing you have …so its not greed and ma not gona handle this urge by looking somewhere els …

Am going to keep it…inside …

Work has been once again ….some sort of disappointment

I don’t know what can I do …is it impossible to work in this dam country!!!1

Why people are so stupid ?

Things take ages to be solved

They cant see the big picture

They only foucs on stupid and small details that will add nothing

No appreciation …

Arrogance

And above all

Loneliness….that’s a killer

I am tiered of thinking and searching with no result ….

The hell with that

I guess its better not to think

Just live every day as it is …( if you can)

i dont believe you by PINK

I have been listening to this song for so many days

And as it’s a gift I have in me…I always have the ability to detect how deep the song is for the singer …I don’t know how and I just do ,,,,or maybe its not true its just touching me personally .

This singer …what I love about her is this pure and raw anger she usually has in her voice and her face impressions ,,,its shows in the way she presents herself …she is just a rebellious person.

The thing that a lot don’t know is that behind any any extreme anger or very loud laughs …you will always have a DEEP cut…a sort of sorrow that just can’t be fixed….

This song comes exactly at a time where I feel a bit venerable.

And I am the only one to be blamed ….my impulsiveness and irrational thinking

Always leads me to uncalculated actions and tough consequences..

But to be honest with me and whomever is reading.

I never intend to do things to hurt others in any way …I am just a very intense person (emotionally speaking ) and such a thing can sometimes be very dangerous

And sometimes it’s the best way to live …..i fall in love in a blink of an eye

And I suffer from it as if it’s a sharp knife stabbing my heart nonstop.

So if you are trying to understand me…..dont

You will never be able to do so ….just accept me the way I am As I was told many times from a lot of people”

“We see you and we feel like we are in the presence of an enormous power”

And also I was constantly told that I have this missing link between my reality and my hidden inner power … when will this time come to see this link working ….

Enjoy the song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGrkoAEpPlA

words

As it is always the way things go with me ….

Unexpected turns in the course of my life…

These unexpected endings….and beginnings

Success, disappointments…smiles, tears and you just can’t say that you know for sure what is coming a head.

I ended a chapter of personal growth. A chapter called Marcia Novo.

When you meet someone that guides you to see your inner greatness, your enormous power hidden within and to take your hand to guide you to the road of fulfilling your dreams. You ask yourself one question. WHAT CAN I GIVE BACK? And it was something that I never knew I had. It’s touching from deep inside. As she said I was the only one who managed easily to break through all her defensive masks and put down all the guarding walls. Well I have to say (with a smile on my face) BABY AM A TURAUS. Back to the main point, I always believe that“people differences bring” “people problems”

And of course we are 180 degrees different. Yet we share something more powerful than our differences. it’s our urge and need for growth or as she say (evolution) I was few steps behind her…am still looking for my DREAM to fulfill it.

Stand up again. Dust off your shoulders, catch your breath and be ready for another round of FIGHT. That’s what I can hear in all the corners of my head

I refuse …

I refuse to be left alone

Or left behind

I refuse to let myself get hurt

I refuse to cry

I refuse to feel the pain

I refuse not to be respected

I refuse not to be loved…..

I refuse to be rejected

And I will not

I will not accept to feel the cold

I will not accept to be defeated by your waves

I am who I am

I am the man of my world

I am the man who know the truth of everything around

I am impulsive

I am a normal FREE spirited man

I can’t be kept in a frame

The frame of expectations

The frame of an average male

BUT

I know

I know I will miss you so much…so much that I can’t sometimes breathe

Like it is now

I will be up in my bed

Thinking of you…

Remembering your head when it rubs to my chest as you sleep in my arms.