I have been reading my old posts, and maaaaaaaaaaaaan what a
messy life
I mean seriously if you read it u get the feeling that I am
a classic bi-polar any way, that actually has no significant meaning. The
current situation I am in is very ambiguous. I was not happy in Kuwait, for
many reasons. In addition, I thought and wanted actually to leave. Of course, I
never planned, and there for, when it happened, or to be specific, when the
circumstances FORCED me to leave. I was like a BABY in a strip club, LOST LIKE
NEVER BEFOR.
Today My wife complimented me, she said ( ï admire your
ability of keeping yourself under control and not losing it ) it is 1 full year without work or income.
Yet with only teaching 2 classes of English and some help from her I managed to
learn Portuguese, Aikido, Muay Thai, and now am studying online some amazing
subjects (mathematical thinking, logic, programing, operation management,
network analysis and intro to Neurology)
I have managed to read a big number of books for Dr.Mustapha
Mahmud that I have to say deeply changed how I see things and think about
spiritual matters.
I cannot predict what will happen or how my life will turn
to be in Brazil. I can only say Hamdolelah that I am healthy, actually I am in
a better body shape than ever, due to walking a lot and more martial arts.
As for how I feel , I cant describe that , it’s a very changeable
state . one day I see things very clear like now. The other day, I feel like I wana
shoot myself in the head ( ANY signs of BiPola HEHEHE )
But there is something that I wish I have the power to do.
ASK god, what is the take home massage?
For each one on this earth , there is a roll, there is a
reason why u r here. Who knows? How can one self actually reach this point? Actually,
how can a person know for sure that THIS
IS WHAT U should do?
Because the master plan makes more logic when u see it from
above. Well, I wish it was that easy or
even possible . I only know that, its like an interactive& intelligent Game. This is life, an interactive& intelligent
game. Depending on each choice you do, the next step reveals itself accordingly
. Ok, what is the target you want to reach ? because that will define wither or
not your choices are correct or wrong.
AHaaaaaa so u need to
actually sketch a Target!!! Ok I have
been trying to do so since 2008 , no luck yet. So my last words will be. Keep
up ur hopes, sketch as much ideas and targets as you can. And as for me. Lets see
how this LIFE/Game will end up J
