Tuesday 10 December 2013

doubts about religion





We cannot see the future because we are simply not ready nor are we wired this way. Our brains struggle to know who we are, let alone knowing /seeing GOD. Our weak bodies cannot handle this energy of parallel worlds and bending time. I am becoming full of doubts about religion. I sometimes feel that it’s a system applied to keep people under control. God defiantly exists and as logic dictates, he must communicate with us. But all I have is a bunch orders given to me by men.  It happens to be that history calls them  prophets or enlightened men    
We actually need some sort of order otherwise, we sidetrack. If I cannot accept other man’s orders, simply because he is just a man like me (so what makes him know better than me.) then it’s a time for a higher power to interfere. Enter GOD, ok who is responsible for the link between me and him?...again I won’t trust anyone . It is I and only I. Therefore, religion is whatever set of rules you come up with to guide your interaction with him -or maybe since he is the divine, these rules are already set. What are these rules? And what exactly would he like to say? Would he actually need to say something every now and then ?

Look how I used the word NEED.. this is a human treat . Our rules don’t apply to him. Therefore he has no needs. Its I who needs to know

Tuesday 8 January 2013

the update

2013 started in a much better mood than 2012. i was able finally to capture the essence of Brazilian celebration of new year`s eve . I have actually came to the point where I believe 100 % that no matter what you plan for your self . there is a higher planer up there.  God always have something else planned for us , its not that we should not plan at all and live like hippppyyyy.
what we should do is, synchronise our inner Wants and needs with our wants and needs on the brain . once this ones happens , only then your plan will actually come to reality . how can we synchronise ? that`s not an easy task at all .My wishes ( not plans coz its not 100% clear and therefore not synchronised ) . by going back to Kuwait , I hope I can finally work hard, work from the heart . be productive, excel at what i do . become the best . Also make a good high quality living for once in my life time, no financial problems. no legal problems . only hard core physical workout and knowledge.i want to continue learning ,get an MBA or Master degree and then a PHD  at the same time AIkido 7th Dan. Living in Brazil, private successful business, teaching in Uni and Aikido .lets see, where is that going to take me 

Saturday 10 November 2012

One millions question

This is a post done via my smart phone .

In the past I had questions
In the past I had no idea about the sneers . Now I can say some of them are answered . But I just can't figure out how to implement this answer .
Example : I know that god created us to learn , use this knowledge to find HIM and also be enlightened.
We are unique in a way or another .
My problem : I can't find my own uniqueness . I don't know how to reach there . How can I help my self and others . Working for some one is not why am created . I am much deeper than that. But what am I exactly ? I don't know :(
I want to answer this question .
I want to find the thing that makes me
Significant for me . I am tiered . And I am lonely . Actually I want to be alone for a while .

Thursday 4 October 2012

very ambiguous.




I have been reading my old posts, and maaaaaaaaaaaaan what a messy life
I mean seriously if you read it u get the feeling that I am a classic bi-polar any way, that actually has no significant meaning. The current situation I am in is very ambiguous. I was not happy in Kuwait, for many reasons. In addition, I thought and wanted actually to leave. Of course, I never planned, and there for, when it happened, or to be specific, when the circumstances FORCED me to leave. I was like a BABY in a strip club, LOST LIKE NEVER BEFOR.
Today My wife complimented me, she said ( ï admire your ability of keeping yourself under control and not losing it   ) it is 1 full year without work or income. Yet with only teaching 2 classes of English and some help from her I managed to learn Portuguese, Aikido, Muay Thai, and now am studying online some amazing subjects (mathematical thinking, logic, programing, operation management, network analysis and intro to Neurology)
I have managed to read a big number of books for Dr.Mustapha Mahmud that I have to say deeply changed how I see things and think about spiritual matters.
I cannot predict what will happen or how my life will turn to be in Brazil. I can only say Hamdolelah that I am healthy, actually I am in a better body shape than ever, due to walking a lot and more martial arts.
As for how I feel , I cant describe that , it’s a very changeable state . one day I see things very clear like now. The other day, I feel like I wana shoot myself in the head ( ANY signs of BiPola HEHEHE )
But there is something that I wish I have the power to do. ASK god, what is the take home massage?
For each one on this earth , there is a roll, there is a reason why u r here. Who knows? How can one self actually reach this point? Actually, how can  a person know for sure that THIS IS WHAT U should do?
Because the master plan makes more logic when u see it from above.  Well, I wish it was that easy or even possible . I only know that, its like an interactive& intelligent  Game. This is life, an interactive& intelligent game. Depending on each choice you do, the next step reveals itself accordingly . Ok, what is the target you want to reach ? because that will define wither or not your choices are correct or wrong.
AHaaaaaa  so u need to actually sketch a Target!!!  Ok I have been trying to do so since 2008 , no luck yet. So my last words will be. Keep up ur hopes, sketch as much ideas and targets as you can. And as for me. Lets see how this LIFE/Game will end up J



Saturday 8 September 2012

Internet + free Ebooks + TED

look at that , 2 posts in one month :)
well well, this time the subject is diffident. If you were wondering ( as if some actually follows what i write ) I Couldn't go to Sao Pualo . because i dont have a Place to stay, the minimum rent is like 1,500 R$ and i will be making 3000 R$ only if i have 20 students . The school can only offer 3 students . so It will not work .
2nd Post is about :
The eager of Knowledge
Yes I now have this Non-stop urge for learning something NEW. i always want to sit down and dive in a book and LEARN and after that PASS it to some one. Teach some one . Ok how can i do that ?
MBA or Masters need money and also need to be in SP. So lets use the current tools we have
Internet + free Ebooks + TED. As you all know i have signed up in www.coursera.net
Its a project done in order to let people around the world to have Free Full class of some interesting subjects
Universities like HARVARD, STANFORD and Toronto .the teacher are going to give class to 33,000 students from 193 countries.

Any way, i am thankful for all the

Sunday 2 September 2012

the call back to Sao pulo ZOO




Last post was like 2 months ago .
Before Ramadan, I was actually considering not fasting . I thought that, the idea for of not eating or drinking at all wont just cut it. I don't care about food, I struggling against anther type of desires .

Any way I came back to my mind and fasted Normally....Guess what ,This was the Best Ramadan I had ever. i really managed to enjoy it . I pried at my own pace Long and slow night prayers . alone but concentrating . Any how The month passed and gave me a wonderful gift .. The highest  level of Calmness. and clarity. I for the first time in my life managed to completely shut down these voices in my head .

Now, I got this Sudden call from a school owner in Sao pualo. asking me to work for him and give classes .
You know what that means. BACK TO SAO PAULO. back to the city the i call the greatest vacuum cleaner . this city is sooo agitated and huge that it sucks all the energy from every one living there.

On the other hand this means Financial Independence . My current situation is really tight . i actually have zero income.  I did the iste7àra prayer and lets see how is that going to go....Its exciting and aluring
but SAO PAULO it self is a big fat  Illusion

I will take tis opportunity and Hope this city wont mess with my tranquillity