my power of will

I just realized how powerful my own 'power of will. And there for,
Am gona start with this line .
"I am in brazil after selling the flat successfully , opened my gym and working hard every day with a huge smile on my face making a very large good living ."

1 month exactly and after I anticipated that I will be replaced,…guess what, I was.
But it happened in an awkward way. I was the once asking to leave..(to be honest, I didn’t even ask) I just left which was embarrassing, I should have told my boss. Anyhow, that is past. The lesson learned is (whatever your father tells you to do. DON’T, just simply ignore.)
Any how this asshole of course replaced me. And I had to flee the country AGAIN coz I am a slave to my father paranoia and I successfully managed to destroy the great Chance I had to get things better financially and for once in my life….pay all my dues and live free 

Now I am in Cairo, no income, no job, and actually no clue.
The plan is to sell they only real-estate I have and use this money to open a gym in Sao Paulo and live there, live for that. Now when I look to my flat, and re-view the times I was so broke to get to pay for it….i smile and I remember a line I overheard on a Oprah`s final talk show.
(there is no such thing as coincidence ,everything is according to a divine plan )
Sitting here, and after I have pulled my wife out of there ,despite her 9000 $ income.
I tell my brain, this has to be for a reason.

I always wanted to leave Kuwait and live in another country, green every where, foreign language. And equality . so looks like it will happen . I will travel to brazil after selling my flat
Open a gym and make a success out myself, later on I will have a big house with a green backyard and the wife will share my life and success .

very very intense

Waw its been a very long time since i have been here ...usually i post here when it’s very very intense
So i guess u know why i am here. In the past few months some great things has happened, a country has revolute against its dictator, many lives has been lost and in the middle...there is me, with all my questions, doubts, hopes, ups and downs ...after my last problem that forced me to flee the country and delete my blog to avoid problems with authorities, I became less enthusiastic blogger, I latterly stayed out of trouble and kept my opinion to myself. But guess what...thats not enough, i just had another fucked up2 days with police searching for me, just to let me know that i am clear and case closed .

But in our fake world, the fact that a police officer would call you at work,(even if it was to tell you a good news) is considered freaky...
A friend called me happy, he has got an interview after he has been searching for work for the past 3 monthes. Guess here is it ,,,,it is where i work ....it is to replace me ,,, again and again and again

Seriously ??? waw life is really a bitch ....hard core one actually its this loop and loop and loop.
When the hell am i gona ever live ...is there something missing ??? what the fuck is going on....why r u doing this to me...what the fuck you need from me...leave me alone for god’s sake just let me be
I am tiered, and exhausted ...this is Too Much i am reaching my limit here,,,
God please pleas pleas go easy on me for some time please.

When are we gona grow up?
Those 40 year old something who still lie and deceive, still stab people from there work
Full of envy and just want people to GO or stay as their slaves....sick people how can i ever Kill them all

the price of truth

Hi there Blog ….
Hi there out world …its been a while, and it will take a while for me to get back in tune with my NORMAL upbeat personality. As usually it’s the roller coaster ride. But this time it was kind of a deep impact. To be almost facing jail because you said the truth!!! Kind of shakes your believes of everything we have learned. People like me who encounter such situations either go paranoid and lose guts. They keep every single word to themselves coz they are afraid of the result. I only wish the results only affect me not my family and loved one. This will not make me change my point of view. I Will NOT SHUT THE FUCK UP I will keep on saying the truth. If I lost one blog, I can make million other new one.
It’s not my mistake that I am telling the truth, it my mistake that I accepted to LIVE in such a place full of hypocrisy, full of cheat, lie, envy and crap.
I will move soon to another better place. a new LAND where I can call it HOME. A land that has what I need for a HOME. LOVE, Respect, civilization and above all NATURE
Vamo Brasil 

2011

Today is the first day of the year 2011 (how observant!!) I started this year in a very different STATE of mind than any other previous year.
A firm determination to FIX every small thing in my life. take things more serious “for a change” and PLAN. I started with a financial plan to pay off all my liabilities. Followed that with writing this article.
This is going to be sort of Master plan to follow.

This year
I will do more Firm “positions”
I will say I DON’T KNOW if I am Not 100 % sure I know.
I will look forward beyond any annoying attitude from close friends
I will continue learning.
I will accept only Full done things.
I won’t accept people bull-shiting any more
I will make my written English much better
Do my Best in every single thing
Last year was a bit better than 2009 yet still there has been a lot struggles, and a lot of Mental hassle. Money, work, plans and future. Are always the subjects that hijacks our brains.
I hope this year I can have a smooth year, to see my LIST of projects start getting finalized.
More stability ,more Personal growth and above all More positives

Mr. President you have stolen my dream.

This is not a report of what happened in some places in Cairo today
This is just my opinion

When you usually ask a child what would like to be, the answer comes almost predictable
Its either policeman, pilot, Dr. or whatever the Dad is doing for living. After all ,this is the only authoritive figure in this child eyes. But when I was asked, I always responded in a way that made every single person I knew to have this laud giggle when I answer. I thought this laughter was some sort of approval mixed with admiration. Actually this laughter was because they knew first hand “it was just a small boy silly dream” I wanted to be a president of my country. Time passed by, now am 30 years old
If asked what is my life goal “I choke up” my mind goes blank and I just end up smiling .I don’t know ….I become another “aim-less soul” breath in and breathe out. Work, try to make enough money to pay my bills and satisfy my Un-important Needs and some of my essential needs. My studies and all my life as an emigrant, has never been close what so ever to politics at all . I wished after high school to study political science. And then I realized that for the first time “you can’t chose what you want to study” it’s your exams score that determents. Actually there is a bureau called “tanseek” this is were every high school dream gets Fucked up. all dreams get STOLEN
I then turned to my second obsession. To study tourism in Egypt, I ran away after I realized it’s a total waste of time. The faculty building was not yet built “in country that has 7 000 years old civilization “
Back to Kuwait and start all over again. Marketing and PR and years pass by. Me ,trying to find myself a goal. A purpose in life, Find where I can fit. Just can’t feel satisfied from any thing I do. I worked in all fields you can imagine. Became an expert of today’s trend .social media. And today I just realized why do I feel so LOST..i saw the video of an old man playing with the votes. Again? the same president for the past 30 years…this old man took a way my chance of achieving my dream. He actually killed my dream and the dream of other millions also. We should at least had the chance to compete.
I write these words and my heart is full of rage, sadness and contempt.
My dream is taken away from me. By force.

Choke me

I was always dreaming about breaking free, from this shit hole country I am living in
I wanted to feel some sort of anew sensation. I got tired from the same land escape over and over again. Got sick from people, the culture I am in. I needed a “change” a new direction. And I got offered a job in Sao Paulo Brazil. The country that you feel u can easily belong and blend in. a mix of craziness of cosmopolitan city and calmness of nature .
Honestly my reply to this was “I choked” I froze and decided to let go the opportunity of breaking free. Came to a new conclusion. I am more trapped than I ever thought I was.
I pity myself when I see her. She is very decisive .I pity my weak guts and my weak soul.
My guts can’t be followed and my soul and brain are no capable of constructing a purpose.
When you are pulled from all directions. It’s a vicious war.
Your enemy is actually living inside of you. Its fear..
Have you ever been able to concur fear?

What’s on your mind …..

I recently came back from my Dream trip. to Brazil
And since I came back, I just can’t feel that I am the same person. I feel as if I am driving a soulless body
I smile, eat, talk, sleep.. Only because my brain is ordering my body to do so. I can’t feel jack shit
I want to sometimes slap my self to snap out of this dull boredom feeling,I cant be THAT MUCH ungreatfull..i have to control it . BUT I FUCKN CANT
It’s not like someone died…am just a bit feeling strange for some reason.
I guess the reason is this job offer I got from brazil. A very interesting chance to GET THE HELL OUT
But the money is too low!!!! According to people who KNOW me,,, they say its not enough for you

My rebelling brain : “I WANT TO GO OUT”

My wise voice : well u got a chance to do it…do it

My rebelling brain But I want the money 2 I need to live good

My wise voice : No my son you can’t have all @ once you have 2 make a choice

My rebelling brain that’s not fare

My wise voice: it is, it will be not fare if you get everything at once…how r u gona learn then?
To evaluate options mean you have to have prioritizing system. If you don’t know what the hell is that I guess it’s about time you do.