Coffee with love

As it’s my nature
Up and down moody person
One small call from her
Just magically added a smile on my face
And to my surprise, a guy from work just showed up with a lot of chocolate
That made me smile and remember her and her baby girl smile when she see chocolate or ice cream.
She also loves coffee, a lot
She was the one who made me taste the best coffee I ever had
Brazilian coffee

I went to see her at work
And kissed
Those tender lips
She was hugging me all night
And I was like a dead corps
I guess my mind and body are very very relaxed when she is around
Too relaxed actually, I have to stop sleeping every time we go and chill on the new red couch

A lot of words

A lot of people talking around me
A lot of words
Different languages in one office
And a lot of different interests and worries
A lot of different intentions, goals, dreams some are kept as secrets
And others are very loudly declared,
Some are shallow
Some are deep
Some are peaceful
And some are harmful
And others are dealing with pain
And above all that
Me…me with a song playing in my head
And a lot a lot of confusion.
Day before yesterday
She said the most amazing and romantic thing ever to be said to a man
She wants a baby,
She wants to commit more than any other paper could say so.
Would I be able to handle a Childs responsibility?
Is a child some thing I want now? Do I even want it at all?
I always still feel like I have like 60% of my own needs and dreams and plans and desires not yet fulfilled…
Travel
Money
Fame
Power
I am an earth sign man; I care about building, acquiring having my hands on top of things
And surprisingly, am so unpredictable, I wake up like a fire and with the need to keep on doing some thing different, it aint a pure Taurus treat, away from astrology
This morning I didn’t give a kiss good bye in the morning, I was up and in a bad hummer as she says always when she is in a bad mood.
I love to use her own words
Well, I do love her; a lot actually …she is just an extraordinary woman

Today am confused, I have this feeling as if something is gona happen and am just there waiting
And I HATE waiting even though it’s sometimes the only and the best option
Maybe I just need a challenge at work…
This slow tempo office I am in is not healthy
But a gain I will not complain, I will find my own way to fix things

I was told that anger makes you blind

I guess it’s true,,, SOMETIMES

Coz other times you just need this rush of adrenaline if you want to fight back

And this time I am fighting a very vicious enemy…

I am fighting my self….fighting this heart I have…it always put me in trouble I don’t need ….like falling love….

Every living creature should really think twice before pissing off a Bull

And now I am FULL OF ANGER from this weak feeling I have.

This unconditioned love that songs and movies talk a bout

Is just a fiction…that is why it is a succeful business?

People crave to have that ….but guess what

IT IS NOT available…I lost a lot of energy running after this imaginary love…

But for what its worth,,,,,it was worth it all the way

At least now I am SURE it is not REAL

As the song say

I'm smart enough to know what I don't know
I'm fool enough to stay when I should go

Its Time to go….

For those who have a question

For those who have a lot of the fear from the “unknown”

Is it a feeling of fear or anxiety ?

Breaking routine and habits is something not easy….

There for change is something we all get scared from …even those who claim they love to change …….they also face this feeling…..

Changing careers,, behavior ,moving to a knew place, changing plans and above all

Change of feelings….

From wanting to be with a companion

To craving for freedom ….

Change from just believing and loving something coz u were told it’s the best for u

To running a way with full speed to the other way…just to prove a point !!!!!What is the point?

I don’t know?

The point is…. I am free to choose …

But guess what ….the more free u are

The more options you have

The more confused you will be my friend

Every thing has a price

And that is the price I pay for choosing to be as I am

I cant sleep,,,, because I think and think and think,,,,, what if what if what if..

I cant say …what I want to say to her or to any one….\coz no one will understand how I AM feeling

Its all about me and my own self….

why am I always feeling like there is something missing

why am I trying to be something that I am not …..What is this thing that I should BE in the first place??

Aha again the mission I was told once …..’Find your mission and you will find that every thing makes sense

I miss you

shhhh its time to let the tears drop

I can fly
But I want her wings
I can shine even in the darkness
But I crave the light that she brings
Revel in the songs that she sings
My angel

I can love
But I need her heart
I am strong even on my own
But from her I never want to part
she has been there since the very start
My angel

Bless the day she came to be
Angels wings carried her to me
Heavenly
I can fly
But I want her wings
I can shine even in the darkness
But I crave the light that she brings
Revel in the songs that she sings